Re-Searching for Friendship
by Sara Twinkle (age 17)
Addie’s dark brown eyes searched her new seventh-grade homeroom. Fluorescent lights reflected off of the blue tiles, making her blink sleepily. She’d slept in later over the summer. There! Her blonde best friend leaned against the pastel blue wall, chatting with some students Addie didn’t know. Addie wove between desks and students and burst into her friend’s group. “Hey, Natalie!”
“Oh, hey, Addie!” Natalie grinned, dimpling, and side-hugged Addie, their backpacks bumping. “Peeps, this is Addie. Addie, these are some of my theater friends.” Natalie gestured to the three other kids. “Garrett, Sofia, and Dale.”
They waved and greeted her.
Addie smiled. “Hi. I didn’t know you did drama, Natalie.”
Sofia hitched up her purple backpack. “Oh, yeah. It’s so fun! And sometimes you get to dance —” she half-twirled, her bag bumping into Natalie. “Whoops, sorry!”
Natalie laughed. “She’s crazy sometimes.”
The bell buzzed, and the students scrambled to find seats. Addie managed to find a spot right behind Natalie and next to Sofia. As their science teacher stood and introduced herself as Mrs. Chad, Addie pulled out her coral-colored notebook. Hopefully, I can talk to Natalie alone at lunch.
Mrs. Chad announced that their semester project was to research and build a model of an organ or system of the body. “You’ll be in groups of two. Start thinking about who you’d like to work with.”
Addie saw Natalie and Sofia whispering excitedly. Her heart sank. Surely Natalie will choose me over a newer friend, right?
***
The beige walls of the lunch room echoed with chatter. “I’ll be at that table, okay, Natalie?” Addie made sure her friend looked around from a conversation with Sofia in the school lunch line and nodded. Sitting at a relatively empty lunch table, she zipped open her lunchbox. Addie closed her eyes. God, thank you for this day and this food. Please help Natalie to choose me as her partner. Opening her eyes, she took out the ham and tomato sandwich her mom had made the night before.
On her second bite, she looked up. Natalie and her friends sat at a different table to the left of Addie’s. Addie blinked. Uh, I guess there’s not enough room here? She tossed her long black braids behind her, eyeing the six feet of empty bench space next to her.
A brunette who had been in her science class sat down across from her. “Hi, I’m Mari.”
Addie swallowed her bite and introduced herself.
Mari took a bite of her macaroni and cheese and made a face. “Ew. It’s like soggy cardboard.” She put the back of her hand to her head theatrically. “Oh! I think I’m going to faint from food poisoning!” She swooned to the bench.
Addie took the chance to see how Natalie was doing. She was chatting happily away with Garrett, Sofia, and Dale. Quickly, Addie pasted a smile onto her face as the girl sat upright again.
Mari swept her bangs out of her eyes. “I think we’re in the same class. What do you think of it?”
“Oh, uh — it’s cool,” Addie stammered. She looked across the lunchroom again.
***
“How was your day?” Addie’s mom, Kellyn, asked as she picked Addie up from school.
“Good,” Addie replied automatically, buckling up as they exited the car line. “Um … we have a group science project starting soon.”
Kellyn smiled as they turned onto the road. “You’re working with Natalie, right?”
A knot formed in Addie’s stomach. “Well, she was talking about it with Sofia — one of the theater friends I told you about, but she hasn’t asked me about it.” She fiddled with the peeling screen on the car window.
Kellyn’s dark brown eyes met Addie’s in the mirror. “Well, have you asked her?”
Addie hunched a little. “No. She’s probably working with Sofia, and I don’t want to butt in.”
“Hmm.” Kellyn frowned. “How many people can be in a group?”
“Two — but Mom, I don’t know if she even wants to be friends anymore! She’s always talking to her theater friends now.” Addie bit her lip. Instead of me.
“Aw, sweetie.” Kellyn smiled sympathetically. Then she frowned thoughtfully at the road. “Why don’t we invite Natalie over this weekend? Maybe you two can reconnect over Uno or something.”
Addie smiled at the memory of her competitive Uno game with Natalie in sixth grade and the earnest conversation carried over it. Then she sighed. “I don’t know if she’ll want to.”
“Sometimes you have to put yourself out there not knowing. It can be scary, but it’s worth it.” Kellyn smiled at her in the mirror. “And remember that you can make new friends with others, too.”
Addie nodded silently.
“Can I pray for you, sweetie?” Kellyn asked.
Addie grabbed the box of tissues they kept in the footwell, hot tears trickling down her cheeks. “Yes, please.”
***
Addie slid into her seat the next day, five minutes before class started. The room buzzed with chatter and squeaking chairs. Please, God, let this work. Taking a deep breath, she tapped Natalie’s shoulder.
Natalie turned around, putting an arm on the back of her chair. “Hi, Addie. What’s up?”
Addie swallowed. “Um, can you — do you want to get together this weekend? We can play card games and eat snacks.”
“Sure!” Dimples formed as Natalie smiled, shaking her blonde bob-cut hair out of her face. “I have theater on Saturday, but does Sunday work?”
“Yeah!” Addie grinned. Finally, some time just for the two of us.
“Ooh, and can Sofia come?”
Sofia leaned forward next to Addie. “That sounds so fun!”
“Uh, sure.” Addie forced a smile.
Mari slid into her seat on the other side of her. “Hey Addie! Have you picked a science project partner yet?”
“Not yet.” Addie barely spared her a glance.
Over Sofia and Natalie’s excited chatter about the hangout on Sunday, Mari said, “Well, neither have I, and —”
“Addie!” Natalie exclaimed. “Can we play charades when we come over?”
“Yeah, sure!” Addie smiled brightly, turning away from Mari. “With cookies every time you guess correctly.”
“Yes!” Sofia pumped her fist in the air. “Ooh, Natalie, and maybe we can get a head start on our science project.”
Addie froze. “You two are working together?”
“Yeah!” Natalie’s smile faded. “Oh, I didn’t mean — well, since you and I have already done a project, I’m doing it with Sofia this time.”
Addie’s nose stung. “Y-yeah. That makes sense.” She stared down at her coral-colored notebook for the rest of class.
***
At lunch, Addie glanced between her normal table, where Mari sat alone, and the theater table, where Natalie and Sofia sat. She hesitated, then cautiously approached the theater table. “Can I sit here?”
“Addie!” Sofia scooted over. “Of course!”
Across from Addie, Natalie spooned up some beans. “Why haven’t you been sitting with us earlier?”
“Uh,” Addie stammered, unzipping her lunchbox, “I didn’t know if you were okay with it.” She laughed self-consciously. “I’m not in theater and …” she shrugged.
“Oh, well, you don’t have to be in theater.” Natalie frowned. “It’s not exclusive like that, we’re all just friends, you know?”
“Yeah.” Addie nodded. She fiddled with the strip of rubber that was coming loose from the end of the table. I guess I just felt a little left out when you and Sofia were hanging out without me. She straightened. But maybe all three of us can be friends.
Sofia smiled at her. “Yeah, and there’s plenty of room here, too.” She gestured to the space on the end of the bench beside Addie.
Addie nodded, smiling. The rest of lunch was filled with conversation about the upcoming show her new friends were rehearsing for. She learned a few new terms and the plot of the show. When lunch was over, she was smiling. It feels so good to be included. I should do that to other people, too.
She waved goodbye to her friends and crossed the lunchroom towards a class that she had without them, swinging her lunchbox as she walked. In front of her, Mari was getting up from her otherwise-empty lunch table. She looked up. “Hi Addie.”
“Hi Mari,” Addie replied automatically. She was almost at the cafeteria exit doors when she stopped swinging her lunchbox. Turning, she saw Mari walking toward her. They were in the same math class this period. Addie caught Mari’s eye and smiled, waiting for her.
“Thanks for waiting,” Mari said, sweeping her bangs out of her eyes as they pushed the double doors open together. “Did you have fun with your other friends?”
“Yeah,” Addie said, nodding. She glanced sideways at Mari. “We’re having a hangout soon on Sunday.”
“Oh, yeah, that sounds fun! Hangouts are the best.” Mari smiled, but her eyes didn’t quite follow along.
They turned to the right, and Addie paused before entering the classroom. “Mari? Are you busy Sunday afternoon? We —” she searched for words and fell back on what Sofia and Natalie had said to her. “It’s not exclusive … and there’s plenty of room.”
Mari’s face lit up, and she hugged Addie. “I would love that!”
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Artwork by Sara Twinkle. All rights reserved.
