The Darkness
by Adele Nickerson
I didn’t move from underneath the tree as the sky darkened. I leaned back and pulled my knees to my chest. I wrapped my arms around them and buried my head between my knees. I had given up. The darkness surrounded me, and I gave in to it. But then I felt His hand on my shoulder. Warmth spread into my entire body. I looked up at Him with my tear-stained face. He took me by the hand and led me through the darkness, His light leading the way.
We walked through the dark forest for a while, His light illuminating all the obstacles in our path. My heartbeat began to slow, and I leaned into Him letting his strength carry me on. Finally, we stopped at a small cottage. He led me inside and smiled before leaving me alone. Though I couldn’t see him anymore I knew He was still watching over me. I took a few deep breaths and looked out the window. The darkness was closing in so fast, I almost couldn’t see the trees anymore.
I knew I’d have to keep going soon so I tried to get as much sleep as I could. When I woke up, I saw it. The book was sitting on the nightstand beside me. I picked it up and held it to my chest. I felt myself relaxing. It was time to keep going. As I stepped outside, I could feel the darkness closing in on me. But the book protected me. I pushed through the darkness and started walking. It was hard to make out the path, but the book helped me keep on the right track.
The darkness pushed back, and I just had to push harder trusting in the book. But it could only do so much for me. I lost sight of the path, and the darkness was pushing me farther and farther back. Where was He? I couldn’t feel Him. I called out His name. I called for His help. After I called for a while, there He was. The darkness let up a bit, and He took my hand. His light lit up the path, and we walked together. Though I could only see Him now, somehow I knew He had been with me the whole time.
I closed my eyes and leaned into Him. Finally, He stopped. I opened my eyes, and we were at a small house at the edge of the forest. He let go of my hand and looked at me. I understood what He wanted. But I hesitated. He smiled reassuringly and took the first step with me. Then I went inside without Him. But I wasn’t ever really without Him. I just thought I was. The house was smaller than the last one. I sat on the floor near the bed and took deep breaths. The book, I still clung it to my chest. As I began to relax, my breathing evened out, and some of the pain lifted from my shoulders. Soon I fell asleep on the floor.
When I woke, I was lying on the bed. The book was still on my chest. I slowly rose and headed for the door. I stepped out into the darkness and took a shaky breath. Then I turned and walked around to the other side of the house, and left the forest. I was in an open meadow. Nowhere to hide. Just me and the darkness. And the book. As I began to walk the pain came back. Worse than before. I clutched the book, putting all my faith in it to keep me safe. But that was my first mistake. Putting my faith in an object and not in Him.
The longer I walked the harder it was to keep going. The pain spread through my chest and into the rest of my body. My legs began to quaver but I pushed forward. Soon my breath was coming in short gasps, and I could feel the tears streaming down my face. And then suddenly I wasn’t in pain anymore. I was angry. I stopped walking. My body shook with anger. Anger at me. Anger at the world. Anger at Him. How could this happen? My head reeled, and I felt like I was going to explode. I called out in anger, and I threw the book far from me. And I screamed. I screamed again. Then I collapsed onto my knees and let it all out. All the anger, all the pain. It all came out in one long, loud scream.
Then I began to cry. My body racked with sobs, and I called out again. I buried my face in the grass and yelled and cried. I gripped the grass in between my fingers and yanked it out of the ground. I couldn’t control it anymore. Then suddenly, I wasn’t crying anymore. A strange calm washed over me. I laid on my side and pulled my knees to my chest. I closed my eyes and let the darkness close in on me. I felt it surround me, brushing my back and shoulders. I succumbed to it.
And just as it was about to claim me, I felt His hand on my back. But I couldn’t move. I wanted to lean into it. But I couldn’t. The darkness fell back, and He lifted me into His arms. He placed the book on my chest, and I leaned into His strength. He carried me away. I didn’t know where, but I didn’t care. As long as it was Him taking me there. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths letting Him do all the work.
He put me down in a soft patch of grass and watched over me while I slept. Then He lifted me into His arms again and carried me on. His light surrounded me and protected me. We walked on. Eventually, He set me down, and we walked side by side, His hand holding mine. Without my noticing He disappeared from view, but I could still feel the touch of His hand on mine.
A harsh wind blew, sending a chill up my spine. I rubbed my arms and shivered, still holding the book tight. I tried to open it to read, but it was too dark. So I pressed it against my chest and tried to recite what I could remember. I stopped at the edge of another forest. Not again. I took a deep breath and braced myself before I took a step inside. The wind picked up until I was trudging through it and had to fight for every step. I leaned against a tree for a moment to catch my breath. As I pushed on it felt like I wasn’t making any progress.
The darkness grew until I was completely blinded. But I kept going, trusting He wouldn’t let anything happen to me. My hair whipped in my face and my eyes began to sting. But then I saw a light. It was just a sliver and was gone in a second. But it gave me hope and I followed it. Then I saw it again, this time it stayed softly glowing in the distance. My grip on the book loosened as I followed the light.
As I got closer, I dropped the book and left it behind me. I didn’t need it anymore. The light grew in the distance and the darkness recoiled from it. And finally, I was out of the forest. I stood in an open, lush green meadow. The sun shone bright and warmed my face. All pain, fear, and anger dissipated. And in the distance, I could see. His city, made out of gold.
And I smiled. I smiled for the first time in a long while. I could feel His presence next to me and I turned to smile up at Him. He smiled back. Then He took my hand, and we walked the rest of the way to the city together.
In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. –-John 1:4-5
About the Writer
Adele Nickerson‘s favorite things to do are read, write, and spend time with her large family filled with lots of siblings and cousins whom she loves with her whole heart. Adele has been writing for as long as she can remember and was originally inspired by her grandmother who is a published author herself. Adele’s biggest dream is to make others happy and glorify God with her work.
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Image: Gustave Doré (1832–1883), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
